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Last week, I talked about talentless people clogging the system. Why, we ask, do these people do this? How, we ask, are these people so completely unaware of their lack of talent? These people are blinded by the light - the spotlight, that is.
People play the lottery because they want to win millions of dollars. These people may not admit it consciously, but many of them know deep down inside that they will probably only have a multi-million dollar lifestyle if they win a lot of money, because they certainly aren't going to earn it. Winning ticket, overpriced screenplay, jumbo recording contract - it's all the same to someone who's only focused on the payoff. You can't win if you don't play.
The same people who complain about the lack of talent are partly to blame for the continued wave of no-talents beating down their doors. Producers fighting over spec scripts that they haven't even read, using checkbooks as weapons, makes crafty people think that they, too, can start their own steam engine of self-promotion roaring down the track to Moneytown. These scripts usually end up sitting on shelves, an embarrassment to the person who battled so mightily for something so worthless. Then, when they find a script they genuinely like, they offer the writer a pittance in comparison. They'll justify it by claiming budget restrictions, or, worse yet, simply saying they paid too much for the last script they bought. How encouraging is that to the development of genuine talent?
Still, there's nothing like a good old-fashioned log jam of star-struck wannabe's to really block the way of someone who's serious about their craft. When the jackpot climbs high enough, good luck running into the 7-11 to buy a gallon of milk when there's a line stretching across the store starting at the Lotto machine. At Christmas time, the stores are so congested with people buying worthless trinkets for people they can barely tolerate that you can't even buy yourself some much needed new socks. And, so it is with American Idol, where the one with the talent has to work his way past 1561 others who are doing nothing more than making Simon, Paula and Randy wish they had never woken up this morning.
I once had a conversation with a model about struggling in Hollywood - more specifically, trying to find an agent. She confessed that she never really wanted to be a model - she was taking some business classes, and did some research on the business part of modeling. Her class project turned into a quest to find an agent. She told me she got very discouraged, since it took her almost SIX MONTHS to finally get an agent. Poor baby. Her exact words: "It was pretty much the same as what you're going through."
Of course it is.
Yet another bizarre aspect of Hollywood is the realization that models are the most realistic people in the artistic community. If you go to the office of a modeling agent, the girls going in and out don't look like scaly aliens or unshaven transvestites. They're beautiful. On a scale of 1 to 10, a modeling agent might get an occasional 7 on a bad day - if you can call that a bad day. On a scale of 1 to 10, a literary agent is continually swamped by garbage that doesn't crack the 5 mark. If he comes across a 7, it doesn't just make his day - it could make his career.
If you're a modeling agent, you get to spend all day every day meeting with beautiful women who are showing you photos of themselves in their hottest, sexiest glory. After a full day of this, if one more goddess walks into your office and asks if she can show you half-naked pictures of herself, what are you going to say? Now, imagine your day is spent reading scripts about magic donuts, vampire-hunting window washers and the teenage days of Copernicus - and this is the stuff that came recommended. At the end of your day, some nobody walks in and wants you to read his script about...
"NO!!!"
Crap flinging breeds frustration. I wish I could get a message out to all the crap throwers and let them know that they're wasting their time, and the time of everyone they approach. Worse than that, they're just ruining it for everyone else. Just because you have access, doesn't mean you should use that access to keep everyone else out. If you have a gym membership, you wouldn't use a machine just to occupy it. You have a goal in mind - a practical goal - and you use as much as you need without ruining it for everyone else. You don't drive down a road or walk through a door just because they're open to you. You go where you need to go. You shouldn't bug important people just because you can. I promise you it will not turn out the way you want.
So, how many of you are wondering if you fit in to the crap throwing category? Probably none of you. Those of you who should know it are pleasantly enshrouded in delusion. Next week, I'll see if I can lift that shroud a bit.
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