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Hollywood may be the land of illusions, but don't ever let the illusions fool you.
"The reason people are making a million dollars for a pitch is because they spent ten years working for free. When you average it out over all the years, it's not the payoff everyone thinks it is. Not everyone's willing to sacrifice and live in a box. When you play it safe, that's the life you get."
Yes, writers, it's your weekly reality check. This time, it's coming from Sherilyn Moore, Vice President of Development at Sub Rosa Productions. Sub Rosa Books is known for its entertainment-oriented publishing, and their film division will soon be known for a Hoop Dreams-like documentary titled Best Friend Forgotten, in which they chronicle the lives of animals who have been dumped at the city pound by following a dog and a cat. With this, and their growing foray into feature films, Sherilyn has been inundated with writer encounters the past few years.
"There was the guy who followed me to my car and said I didn't have a nice enough car for him to submit to," she recalls. "There was the writer who checked our credits on IMDB.com and told me that our movies weren't of good enough quality, but he'd let us look at his project because it was what we needed to raise our profile. Of course, there's the letters that say "You would be an idiot not to do my project. You better snap this up right away." We get a lot of those. Everyone in town gets a lot of those. They're just hideous."
"If you want to be a writer... writers HAVE to write. Don't do it because you think you're going to make a million dollars. If you do it because it's in you and you can't do anything else - because you feel it and you're passionate about it. Yes, it would be great to make a sale, but you're doing it no matter what and it shows in your writing. Then the desperation factor where you're hunting people down and waiting by their cars isn't there, because you're a professional. And being a professional isn't just about making sales - it's about you and your craft and your commitment to it."
A growing production house like Sub Rosa is the preferred target of new writers, for the simple reason that they're more open to new talent. In other words, these places aren't completely scared off by the insanity that comes with Hollywood desperation... yet.
"People don't understand that this is a business. When you go on a job interview, you want to put your best foot forward. I've gotten pitch letters with food stains on them and my name pencilled in - then scribbled out because they spelled it wrong. Spring for a fresh piece of paper."
"Listen to what we say. If we want stuff sent to us a certain way, do yourself a favor and listen. We only accept e-mail pitches. We've had people - agents, even - who have faxed us the same pitch twelve times. Are we ever going to work with these people? We're telling you what we want. If I say I'm looking for an action movie with a female lead, I'll always get someone pitching me "I've got this great action story with a male lead." That's not what I asked for. Can it be changed? Sometimes it can, and sometimes it can't. Then I'll get "I've got this great comedy." Well, that's nice. It's not for me. Some people really think they can push things on you if you just hear them out."
"You don't want your script sitting on a shelf in someone's office. You want them to be passionate and you want them to try to get your movie made. You don't want to wear them down. You want someone who's excited about your script - just like you are."
Sherilyn spends a lot of time travelling lately in promotion of Best Friend Forgotten, and relies on her assistant to filter out pitches that are clearly not what was asked for. To relax, she does yoga, thriving mostly on the chance to step away from work for a little while. "I knew I found the perfect class, because after two years, I still don't know what anyone in that room does for a living."
Yes, there needs to be time away from work. But, when it's time to get back to the grind, Sherilyn highlights cordial treatment as the way to coax doors open in Hollywood.
"This is a constantly changing business. So, instead of complaining about how everything is wrong and you don't like it, change it. Start with yourself. You don't like how rude everyone is? Don't be rude. That's how I felt, and maybe it means that people call me four more times than they should have, but I want to work in a certain environment and there's a price for change. I know writers are crapped on and they think they don't have any control, but you do have control over some things - things in your life. Start with those. Treat (other people) like human beings. Just be honest, human, decent."
Get a dictionary and look up those words. If you live in L.A., you might not be too familiar with them. Another word you might need to look up is "No".
"I shouldn't have to say "No" to someone nine... ten... eleven different ways. I try to be polite, but I'm doing you a disservice if I'm not into your project and we're both wasting time dealing with it. Somewhere else, there probably is someone who is interested in your project and it's right for them. It's like you have this puzzle piece. You can't just jam it in anywhere and force it to fit. It takes some time, but you have to find out where it's meant to go. Don't assume an exec just isn't "getting you". A lot of execs are creative people, too. We're not idiots. There's a reason why someone gave us this job."
So, it's not just the projects, people. It's the people, people. We've all had co-workers we've wished would forget to come into work for the next six years. Try to imagine that person actually coming to you for a job. Not bloody likely. No matter how good your project is, people aren't going to want to work with you for two years if they can barely tolerate you for two minutes. But, once you've got your personality perfected, you need to work on your story.
"When you pitch, I want to hear you tell me about your characters - tell me about them like you know them. You created them, you should know them. I had one guy say "Well, you got your woman, so you know how she is." No, I don't. I didn't write this. You're the writer. "Well, she's a woman, so she's got her issues - you know?" What does that even mean? What it means, to me, is that this guy doesn't know how to write a human being. Even your big budget action adventures start with the character. If you don't care about the character, you don't care about the movie."
And if you don't care about the movie, what are you doing here?
(Tune in to Animal Planet and PBS this fall to see Best Friend Forgotten, or catch it on its promotional tour raising money for animal rescue charities nationwide. Check out www.givevoicetoanimals.org for information.)
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