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It seems like everyone in L.A. smokes.
(Note: Double entendres ahead. You've been warned.)
Everyone knows that the air in L.A. is some of the most polluted air in the world. Most of it has to do with the overabundance of vehicles being driven 24 hours a day by people who really have nowhere to go. A lot of them are just driving around trying to get noticed by all the other people with nothing to do and all day to do it. COME ON, PEOPLE!! Do you really think that all the idolmakers are just driving around town all day looking in car windows? They're not. They're busy. The reason they can make you famous is because they are important, busy people. While you're in traffic, they're in their office. If they're in traffic with you, they're probably looking at notes or talking on the phone to someone else important.
The other thing I notice about people driving around L.A. pumping more smog into our atmosphere is that about one out of every five drivers has a hand hanging out the window with a cigarette dangling from it. Yes, we appreciate the irony of you not wanting your car (or house) to smell like smoke so you send your fumes into my arena.
Thanks - you idiots. And, let's get something straight. I'm not a "Non-smoker" because I choose to be offended by your bad habit. I have allergies, which is an actual medical condition that is inflamed by breathing in your tobacco fumes. I'm certainly no health nut trying to raise my anti-oxidant level or whatever it is healthy people do.
If you want to smoke, smoke, but do it where it doesn't bother anyone. This applies to anything that other people find hurtful or overly offensive: drug use, target practice, watching porn, racist jokes, listening to crappy music at top volume... As long as other people aren't subjected to it or put in danger by it, I'm all for you enjoying it if that's your thing. If you want to be one of those lunatics who live in a cabin in the woods, blame everyone else for what's wrong with society and run around with AK47's and night vision goggles and pretend the DEA is coming to take down your crystal meth lab, have a ball. You want to sit in your own home and burn incense to drown out the scent of all the marijuana you're smoking, I don't care. You want to paste high school yearbook pictures on trees and shoot at them with a crossbow and listen to gangsta rap, that's fine by me. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T ACTUALLY HURT ANYONE, I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DO!! If I don't have to hear it, smell it, pay for it or deal with it, I don't want to waste the energy or resources it takes to make it a problem and then deal with it. Close your windows, lock your doors, wear some headphones, pull your pants up to waist level and pay your own bills. And, while you're at it, get out of my damn way.
We have bigger problems.
Half of our state is on fire right now. This happens pretty regularly in Southern California. The Santa Ana winds blow a little fire into the sun-bleached brush, causing a raging inferno. Most of the time, the news says it's caused by drivers throwing lit cigarettes out the window. So, what's our biggest concern this week? Well, L.A. just passed a new law banning public urination.
It's nice to know where our priorities lie. Hasn't anyone thought of taking all the hobos out to the fires and letting nature battle nature? I can see it now. A homeless wino battles alcoholism, and goes from zero to hero when he snubs the new law and pees out the L.A. fires. It's the feel-good movie of the year.
Speaking of movies and blowing smoke...
You've heard me say it before, and I can't seem to say it enough: Don't listen to peoples' bullshit. Just like the make-you-famous people aren't looking at the wanna-be's in the car next to them, they aren't stringing you along just to keep you around. People in this town who are making movies and making money aren't doing it by building a road of false promises. I don't care if someone has a little success or is riding the broken-down vehicle of success from years passed, either it's happening or it ain't. Yes, there is a great deal of "it's GOING TO happen - just be patient" going on out here, but it should be easy to tell the difference between "It's going to happen, just like all the other things you know I've done" and "It's going to happen - I know it is. Just have some faith in me and keep working for little or no return while you hope it happens."
Those of you blowing smoke - kindly keep it to yourselves.
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