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It's the classic tale of immovable object meeting irresistible force.
This tale's got a pair of idiots, too. It's a classic Hollywood tale with a new twist on an old theme.
This morning, I was stuck in a traffic triangle. As I attempted to turn left into a grocery store parking lot, a bakery truck was attempting to turn left onto the street I was on. At the same time, an elderly couple wanted to continue their walk across the entrance to the parking lot, stopping three steps into the lane I was trying to turn into. Now, we're all stuck. As soon as I turned, I knew the bakery truck would turn, and that would prompt the people to walk. This would put them right in the path of my moving vehicle. If I stopped for them halfway through my turn (inevitable, since they would be moving much slower than two vehicles), I would either get hit by oncoming traffic or rear-ended by the bakery truck.
What do you do? Can you hear Dennis Hopper's voice?
Traffic clears, and I make my move, aiming for the gap between the couple and the bakery truck. As I move, the bakery truck moves, and the pedestrians, seeing the truck move, begin to cross - RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Thinking quick, the window on my passenger's side was already going down, and I screamed "DON'T MOVE NOW, YOU IDIOTS!!" I don't think I was speaking the same language their brain works in, but some communication is universal. If you see a screaming maniac bearing down on you in a moving pick-up truck, get out of his way. Yes, I considered these people idiots (You couldn't go AROUND the bakery truck?), but you don't live to be 60 without some kind of survival mechanism.
I finally figured it out. In Hollywood, like in life, it's survival of the fittest. It doesn't matter who's better or more talented. What matters is who can survive the longest. Who can hang in there and stick it out while havoc rains around them? Unfortunately, that's why a lot of the wrong people "succeed" in Hollywood.
In the woods, wild hares live about three years. They are nature's Big Macs. Owls, hawks, cougars and coyotes gobble them up. If they didn't have these predators on them every time they stuck their heads out of their holes, who knows how long they'd live? Five years? Forty years? We'll never know, because the predators are everywhere, and the survival instinct of a rabbit is almost zero. They'll run when they see claws and teeth coming their way, but prevention or realization is not their strong suit.
I wish I could say that writers were the wild hares of the entertainment industry. I wish I thought of writers as that bright, or at least that equipped to elude predators. At the very least, I wish I thought of writers as having enough of a self-preservation instinct not to go running from their safety zone right into the open maw of anyone putting out a lure designed to net a free meal.
Calm down, people. Don't be so anxious to run towards every dimly lit sign that advertises career success. Don't stand in the way of someone who's going to run you over. Don't be afraid to change your direction when an obstacle gets in your path.
Don't be afraid to leave your hole once in a while. Unstrap the cellphone from the side of your face and take a look at the world around you. Great writing comes from experiencing life, no matter how simple the experience. You don't have to travel around the world in a hydro-car you built yourself that runs on dog poop in order to get a good story idea. There's plenty of films made out of real-life stories that suck, and simple ideas that make for amazing entertainment. Slingblade was about as simple as they come, and look how great that was.
Pay attention, people. It's what makes for good writing. It may also save your life.
Let's be careful out there.
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