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Modern technology is a strange thing. It falls into The Law of Diminishing Returns. This is one of those things they teach drug addicts: the longer you use, the more drugs it takes to get less of a high. It's the same with car insurance and taxes - you pay more, but you don't get more. Thanks to increases beyond your budgetary means, lots of people step outside these systems, and those inside have to pay even more for even less.
I've noticed that this law also applies to modern communication devices. You ever notice that the person you know with the most communicators is the hardest to actually get on the phone? People with cellphones are much harder to reach than people who just have a phone and an answering machine at their house. I know a guy with two cellphones, a limo phone, three e-mail addresses and a Blackberry with 2-way text messaging who you can't find with a tracking satellite, but I'll bet if you called my mom on her rotary dial phone that's been there since her house was built 33 years ago, she'd pick up.
No, this isn't going to be one of those lectures about how "less is more". I don't believe that less is more. I believe that less may be enough. I also believe that if you're going to be some self-important idiot who loads himself up with communication devices so everyone you pass will think you're a player, don't be such an asswipe that you're also one of those people who never answer their phone.
I know it's an L.A. thing, but it doesn't have to be your thing. How many times do I have to tell you kids not to do everything you see other people doing? If everyone jumped off a bridge (if only), would you do it, too?
Ask any producer what they're looking for in a script, and you'll hear some form of the phrase "something original". Look at what's in the theaters, and it's hardly original. This week's Top Ten includes two threequels, a pirate movie (we had one a month ago, and it's still #16), another Looney Tunes movie, another Tupac movie, another retard movie and another predictable romantic comedy with Hugh Grant. Of the remaining three, one is a holiday movie and one is the new Disney animation musical. So, we're looking at ONE "original" movie, and this was based on a novel and written by a seasoned screenwriter (Brian Helgeland also wrote The Postman, Blood Work, L.A. Confidential, A Knight's Tale, Payback, Conspiracy Theory and more). So, where's the original movie by the new screenwriter?
I was about to say something nasty. I'll restrain myself.
I'm actually a little proud of myself right now. I just finished writing a new screenplay, which I believe will get me the attention I've been looking for. Is it original? Hell, no. At best, it is uniquely familiar. It is a parody, with easily recognizable characters. What I've done with it is unique, however, and therein lies the appeal.
As far as original goes, good luck finding it anywhere you look, especially in the movies. If you're writing something original, you should also write something based on a true story or find something easily recognizable that producers can sink their teeth into - a barely new version on a hardly old theme. After your movie about a person possessed by the dead spirit of someone who is their complete opposite makes a healthy profit (it sure won't cost much to produce), you can make your movie about the avenging clown who's trying to save the orphanage he grew up in.
Depending on what you're looking to do in Hollywood, the frustration factor kicks in when you realize how much visual entertainment there is out there. When I was a kid, we had three networks, PBS and three or four more local stations. There was so little to put on these stations that half of them actually WENT OFF THE AIR late at night. Now, I've got 200 channels, and there's so much crap I wish half of them would go off the air permanently. There's also a huge video market, made-for-TV movies, and websites looking for writers. Geez. The Law of Diminishing Returns strikes again. For all the writing outlets out there, it seems like it's increasingly harder to break in and make some money writing.
My final thought for the week comes from an interview I recently read with writing teacher Robert McKee (interviewed by Mike Farris, but I don't remember where it was published). When asked about new writers being barricaded outside of "the system", McKee scoffed. It seems The System is about as solid and confusing as The Matrix. McKee explained very simply that Hollywood is nothing but chaos, with nothing systematic at all. There are plenty of people working at studios who can't get their scripts read, and there are people lived entire lives somewhere else, come to town with a script, and gets requests for it from 20 different offices.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Ask 1000 people how they made it in Hollywood, and you'll get 1000 different stories.
I guess there is some originality after all.
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