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Well, hip hop dollar signs strike again.
Regular readers of this column know that one of my pet peeves when it comes to movies is anything that gets its title from a stupid catch phrase or unlikely pop hit. Most of it comes from white guys in their 50's thinking that they'll capitalize on teenagers who think the movie will be cool if it's make-believe young or make-believe black.
So, this weekend, we got served. I used to think getting served was a good thing. I order some teriyaki shrimp and a couple of beers, and I get served. Now, getting served seems to be a bad thing, complete with angry wiggers and horrible dialogue.
"You got served."
"What's up?!"
"Bring it!"
"YOU better bring it."
"You know it."
"It's on."
"Then let's do it."
"Oh, it's gettin' done."
"It BETTER get done."
And the Oscar goes to...
I guess this is my wake-up call. When things that are cool just look stupid, you are officially old. I just had a birthday, and I was feeling kind of bad until a pretty cashier called me "young man". It was the same odd feeling I got the first time some little kid called me "sir" when I was about 23.
I want to make sure I got this right, since I seem to be so out of touch with today's youth. Apparently, if your ego gets the best of you and you want to pretend like you're actually accomplishing something, you and your friends get together and compete against other groups of teenagers in an angry dance contest. It's Boys in the Hood meets Breakin'.
Between What A Girl Wants, My Baby's Daddy, All About the Benjamins, I Got the Hook-Up!, and, now, You Got Served, I think there might finally be a trend that writers can follow before it burns itself out. Just find the nearest industry exec who is screaming for "something original" and pitch one of these wonderful ideas:
Top 10 Ghetto Catch Phrases to Be Used as Movie Titles
10. What's Up Wit Dat?
A group of students struggle to overcome a school program that has brushed them aside by placing them in Special Ed.
9. My Bad
It's a 90-minute fart joke mystery where everyone smelt it and no one knows who dealt it.
8. Bootylicious
A group of hookers starts up their own line of ghetto gourmet ice cream.
7. Raise the Roof
A black man is run off the road by a horse-and-buggy, bangs his head and takes up residence in an Amish community after he loses his memory.
6. You Go, Girl
Fed up with hustlers and players, a black woman decides to give up on men and "go girl".
5. It's All Good
This comedic drama centers around a group of sex addicts and their attempts to find healthy relationships.
4. Baby Got Back
A man suffers insane retaliation when he screws up by telling his wife her ass looks fat.
3. You Better Recognize!
A simple man finds out he has a long-lost twin brother who is involved in a shady lifestyle, which he gets caught up in when he is mistaken for his twin.
2. REPREZENTIN!
A thug from the ghetto decides that the only way he's ever going to change things in his crime-ridden community is to run for a seat in the Senate - and things get FUNKY.
1. Keepin' It Real
A documentary about a famous entertainer who gradually goes through extensive and repetitive plastic surgery to alter his appearance and become a white man. To protect his identity, his face is blurred during the entire film (at least I think the blur is in the film - maybe that's now his face).
I expect a producer's credit and 10% of any profits (HAH!) from these films.
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