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It's e-mail bag time again. Thanks for the interesting questions and info. I hope those of you who wrote don't mind if I share with the rest of the keyboard-weary. I've also done a little re-write on some of them to make them more palatable. Some of you really need to put down the How to Be a Screenwriter books and pick up a fifth grade English book. If you want to make something plural, you add an s; if it belongs to someone, you add ?s. I swore I've said this before.
"Can you recommend any books on getting organized or managing time that are designed specifically for writers?"
No, I can't. I'm sure they're out there, but they're not something I've looked for. My take on books like that are that you never find the time to read them or you're so disorganized that the books get lost in your pile of stuff to organize. Part of the challenge of success in any given field is making time to do what needs to be done.
"You seem to have a total hatred of reality shows. Is it because it's putting writers out of work?"
No. Everything new puts somebody out of work just as it opens up new jobs. Crappy entertainment opens up the market for good entertainment to step in and clean up. It's the job market circle of life.
My rage against reality shows is that they're getting stupider by the month, yet somehow there's no shortage of people desperate enough to compete or stupid enough to fall for the long-term joke. What bothers me is the bandwagon approach by entertainment execs to squeeze every last nickel out of this trend - or any other trend - before waiting for someone else to luck onto the next big thing so they can jump onto THAT gravy train. I'd love some decent counter-programming that didn't involve the exact same thing we've already seen... but this time with a midget, or a hermaphrodite, or a Siamese twin. I'm waiting for the next dating show where 20 beautiful women compete for a guy, but he's got a secret that will explain why all their stuff keeps disappearing and why he's always looking for a reason to fish around in the girls' purses. It's called Joe Crackhead.
"I have a lot of trouble finding decent names for all my characters - names that I really like. Any solutions?"
A lot of writers name characters after people they know or have known that fit their characters' personalities. You can name the evil bitch after your friend's ex-wife or name the slimy businessman after your old boss. Seinfeld was full of these characters. Crazy Joe Davola was named after a network executive. Kramer was named after Larry David's former neighbor, Kenny Kramer. Even Jerry Seinfeld was named after the comedian Jerry Seinfeld.
A great website for names is kabalarians.com. You can browse by ethnic origin, or plug in a name you like to see if the personality profile suits your character. The direct link is:
http://www.kabalarians.com/cfm/surf-by.cfm?Baby=Yes
"What DO you like? Are there any shows you consider to be "The Best Shows You're Not Watching"?"
Probably the funniest show on TV right now is Chappelle's Show on Comedy Central. Other shows to check out are Curb Your Enthusiasm, Oliver Beane, The Bernie Mac Show, Scrubs and Joan of Arcadia. More mainstream shows that are decent hits that I also like are The Handler, That 70's Show, Friends (of course), the Fox Sunday line-up and my new favortie, Becker. I also like Tru Calling - it's the new Quantum Leap.
"Does writing a column like this provide you with more Hollywood access than the average struggling writer? Would you suggest all writers do something like this?"
I suggest all writers should write. This column provides me with an outlet for my pent-up hostility, and it also keeps me writing. Even if I don't feel like "creating" I still unleash words onto a blank page, and that's a good thing.
As for the Hollywood access, it can't hurt. Any chance people have to see your writing is a good thing. I haven't fully exploited the Hollywood access part of this endeavor, but I will. Watch future columns for upcoming interviews with industry execs.
"What makes you keep going?"
What the hell else am I going to do? Look - a lot of people have a dream, and then they have a back-up plan. They put all their energy into their back-up plan, then they're surprised when their dream doesn't come true (not enough dedication). Some people put all their energy into their dream and can't survive long enough to make their dream come true. This may sound like a pile of eastern philosophy, but you should seek balance.
The other thing that keeps me going is the actual HOPE that we may really see a reality show where Siamese twin midget hermadphrodites compete for dates and cash prizes.
I wonder if there's any left over from the old Geraldo show...
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