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Thanks to everyone who e-mailed me and asked - in their own special ways - where I've been.
Well...
My printer is jamming, my computer monitor is blinking (when it actually goes on at all), I had a crazy roommate situation that came to a full boil this weekend, and I've been insanely busy. On top of all that, a third voice interrupted a phone conversation a few weeks ago, and I found out through this voice that my line was crossed with the fax line of a business down the street. When the phone company came to fix his line, my phone stopped working. And, I lost my new library card, so I couldn't even get on the internet at the local library.
Just for the record, the roommate was there through the person who owns the building, and not through me. She was insane, as most L.A. roommates are. She's gone, but her stuff is still there, which means that there is still potential for more drama. Goody.
To top everything off, when I tried to write this column two days ago, the web page just moved on for no reason - right in the middle of what I was writing.
Yes, the setbacks never end. No matter who you are or what stage of life/career you're at, there are going to be setbacks.
Take Paula Abdul, for example.
Only in Hollywood would some 20-year-old nobody INGRATE JACKASS get the privelege of being coached and seduced by Paula Abdul and react by whining about it to the media. If this moron was back in Podunk and get a career boost and a crotch polishing from some 45-year-old hottie, the only phone call he would make would be to her, and the only thing he'd say is "Thank you".
But it's Hollywood...
In Hollywood, every action has an inequal and completely oppositional reaction. Those of you engaged in L.A.-type pursuits can feel free to apply business tenets that work in the real world.
This leads me to my favorite new story. It's about WalMart. I've been inside WalMart exactly three times, and that was two times too many. Still, I love this story.
In some little town, WalMart was planning to move in. In an emergency meeting, the townsfolk dreamt up some BS new town ordinance that dictated the size of businesses. "We don't want none o' dem newfangled big stores like they got in the big cities," they declared, and a restriction was placed on how big a store could be within city limits. WalMart bought the parcel of land anyway, and built TWO smaller-than-average WalMarts RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER!!
That's a creative solution. It would make a great movie ending. |
