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Examples: A Bad Query Letter

1313 Mockingbird Lane
Anytown, USA 10022

May 20, 2006

Ms. Big Time Hollywood Agent
Zillion Dollar Talent Agency Inc.
5000 Hollywood Blvd. #934
Hollywood, CA 90028

Dear Ms. Big Time:

I am writing to let you know that I have just completed a new romantic comedy spec screenplay and I'm looking for representation. It's called THE NEW FILLY and it's about the love between a new filly and her wayward Uncle, who is a race horse. No silly, it's not that kind of love. I live outside the Philly area and was inspired to write a story with the name of my town in it, thus, THE NEW FILLY.

I know that there haven't been any movies about a Filly lately and if Hollywood made this movie it would make at least twice what Titanic made. I'm certain of this since I spoke at my niece's class last week and they told me they would all go see it and tell their friends. If you'd like, I could provide you with their phone numbers.

I've written ten other screenplays and one industrial script that was almost produced but not quite because I wrote it for a company that makes conveyor belt widgets that are used on conveyor belts and they went belly up. Not the conveyor belts but the company. They liked the script but ran out of money due to pending litigation. It seems one of their widgets malfunctioned, causing a sharp metal thing to jettison across the factory and embed itself in the shop foreman's backside.

Since the film didn't get made, I decided to write a script based on the story I described above. Think of it as Erin Brockovich but in the conveyor belt industry. I'll be happy to show it to you as soon as it's done which might be tomorrow if I get the wash done today.

Thanks for your time and just so you know, I am a volunteer for Mothers Against Drunk Drivers and one heck of a mom.

Suzie Screenwriter


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